When people who had watched The Mommy Club on Showmax watched Netflix’s The Polygamist, many drew parallels between the marriage of a well-known influencer-turned-reality TV star and the show’s chaotic storyline. However, it was one of her co-stars who unexpectedly owned up to similarities between her marriage and some of the scenes that played out on the show.
Ratile Mabotja (formerly Mabitsela), a South African reality TV star from the mommy-focused local reality show, recently compared her marriage to her late husband, Lehlogonolo Elias Mothapo Mabitsela, to the betrayal-filled storyline of Netflix’s latest hit show.
She described the series as a “mirror” of her own traumatic experiences, saying it triggered painful memories of infidelity, public humiliation and emotional betrayal in her relationship.
Meeting the Mabitselas
The couple appeared together on the first two seasons of The Mommy Club as a family with children, including a set of twins.
Ratile, a former pageant queen, had previously denied marital troubles in interviews, insisting there was harmony in her family despite persistent rumours.
Fans also commented on a notable age gap (he was about 10 years older) between the late CEO of Mothapo Consulting Engineers and the pageant queen.
It all falls apart
Around the time season 2 began airing on Showmax, reports emerged of infidelity, domestic issues and separation/divorce proceedings. Ratile reportedly opened a GBV (gender-based violence) case against him involving an incident with her mother-in-law. Allegations included abuse (which he denied).
According to reports and Ratile’s recent statements, Lehlogonolo publicly cheated with multiple women, including well-known social media influencer Neo Tsele. There were claims of her driving Ratile’s car and other public embarrassments during the separation.
Their marriage troubles even affected her relationship with her longtime nanny/housekeeper Barbara Zhorizho. The pair had a public falling out that played out on The Mommy Club (Season 2), particularly at the reunion episodes.
Barbara had worked for the Mabitsela family for about seven years and was a significant part of the household, helping with the children. She was such an integral part of their lives that Ratile described her as having been like family, noting that the kids were attached to her.
Your side, my side and the truth
The housekeeper appeared emotional on the show. In an early conversation with fellow cast member Her Majesty (Happy Simelane), she claimed she was fired without warning or clear reason.
Discussions later in the season mentioned suspicion over a missing wallet (possibly belonging to Ratile or her husband), with Barbara feeling unfairly accused or blamed. She felt unwanted and was let go abruptly.
Ratile maintained that she did not fire Barbara and claims left voluntarily for a new job opportunity.
However, Ratile later said Barbara “crossed the line” and posed a threat to her loved ones (likely by speaking out or getting involved in family matters, possibly related to the rumoured marital issues that were bubbling).
Lehlogonolo died in February 2025 (reportedly by suicide, per some accounts), shortly after the twins’ birthday, while the couple was estranged and in the midst of divorce.
His widow has spoken about the compounded grief of losing her marriage and her husband, navigating widowhood, in-laws and single motherhood.
Why would she say the show mirrored her life?
The Polygamist (adapted from a Zimbabwean, South African author’s novel) centres on a charismatic but narcissistic man leading a double life with betrayal, multiple partners, a long-suffering wife with a public profile and dramatic fallout.
Ratile told her TikTok followers that she saw parallels in the infidelity, secrecy, public shame and emotional toll, especially the theme of a wife enduring it all while trying to hold the family together.
She also framed her conversation as part of her healing and a “return to self”, along with discussing self-sacrifice, losing herself in the marriage and reclaiming power through grief, motherhood and purpose-driven work like pageantry coaching.
Following her husband’s death, it was alleged that she had been snubbed from his will (though community of property might apply to half), debts left behind and tensions with in-laws. His sister frequently attacked his widow online during that time.
