2006. South Africa reality TV show Strictly Come Dancing hosts Sandy Ngema and Ian von Memerty.
Peoples’ instinct to survive supersedes all. This is why suicide remains one of the most perplexing human behavioural traits.
Every year in South Africa, thousands of people cross the line.
Entertainer Ian von Memerty’s much-publicised pursuit of “self-deliverance” and subsequent death again underlined suicides and the many shapes it takes.
Von Memerty’s death sparks renewed conversation about suicide
He called his death freedom – and it was the culmination of months-long Facebook posts in which he philosophised, mulled and justified his plans to exit life.
He was just 61 years old.
Globally, the World Health Organisation says over 720 000 people die by suicide every year, making it one of the leading causes of death worldwide and the third-leading cause of death among people aged 15 to 29.
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The crisis is particularly acute in Africa, according to the organisation. The continent has the highest suicide rate of any region globally, and South Africa sits near the top of that list.
With a suicide rate of 23.5 deaths per 100 000 people, the country ranks among the worst affected on the continent.
Despite those stark numbers, psychologist and medical doctor Jonathan Redelinghuys said there is rarely a single explanation for why someone reaches the point of ending their life.
Rarely a single explanation
“People often want a clear explanation, but when it comes to suicide, there are many grey areas.”
Major life transitions often play a role, whether it is losing a loved one, the breakdown of a relationship, academic failure or moving to a new environment.
“These can all trigger intense feelings of isolation and despair.”
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Research showed individuals who are suicidal often experience hopelessness, helplessness and feelings of worthlessness, accompanied by the belief that their problems are insurmountable and that nobody cares or is willing to help.
Depression remains the leading cause of suicide, but an individual’s relationship with the condition is more complicated than many assume. “Thinking about suicide is a symptom of depression,” Redelinghuys said.
“But depression can exist without that symptom and that symptom can also exist without necessarily feeling depressed.”
Simple reasons
Von Memerty said on social media his reasons were simple.
He did not want to experience the physical and cognitive effects of ageing, was worried about old age finances and concomitant dependency on his family. He also painted a vivid picture of his father’s decay into old age, losing his faculties after a stroke.
Suicide is not always emotional-or disease-related. Substance abuse can also play a significant role. Alcohol and drugs often reduce impulse control, increasing the likelihood that someone experiencing distress might act on suicidal thoughts.
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In other cases, the trigger may be sudden, said Redelinghuys. “People who receive dreaded diagnoses like cancer often develop suicidal thoughts very suddenly in the acute phase after the diagnosis,” he said.
The same pattern is seen among individuals facing severe and life-altering consequences.
“Trial-awaiting prisoners who suddenly realise they may face a lifetime in prison or significant adversity often develop suicidal ideation very quickly.”
Life-affirming and destructive impulses
While our instincts would be to survive, psychological research has recognised that the human mind contains both life-affirming and destructive impulses, Redelinghuys said.
Even Austrian neurologist Sigmund Freud explored this duality in his early theories of human behaviour.
“He spoke about two drives, the libido and Thanatos,” Redelinghuys said. “Libido is the drive to live and procreate, while Thanatos is the drive toward aggression and destruction. Sometimes, when that aggression turns inward, it manifests as depression and suicidal behaviour.
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“When people reach the point where suicide seems like the only option, the pain of existing outweighs the pain they believe they might cause others,” he said.
“Many even convince themselves loved ones will be better off without them. That rationalisation often ignores the grief and questions families carry afterwards.”
Suicide survivors – the people left behind – frequently struggle with intense guilt, unanswered questions, and a need to understand what went wrong, Redelinghuys said. “Parents who lose a child to suicide often report overwhelming feelings of responsibility, shame and shock.
People left behind struggle with guilt
“The stigma surrounding suicide can deepen that suffering, isolating families who may feel unable to talk openly about the death.”
Recognising early warning signs is important, he said. “People who talk about feeling hopeless, being a burden to others or having no reason to live may be signalling distress.
“Other warning signs include withdrawing from friends and family, giving away possessions, increased substance abuse or sudden mood changes.”
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Loss of motivation, persistent sadness and loss of interest in normal activities can also indicate depression. “The earlier one intervenes with psychological treatment or medication, the better the prognosis,” Redelinghuys said.
While conversations around mental health are improving, more needs to be done. “There are more conversations about mental health now than before, but there is always room to do more.
“Suicide is a complex interaction between suffering, circumstance, mental health and perception,” he said. “And that’s why understanding it and preventing it requires constant attention.”
Help on hand
Looking out for a loved one is important. In South Africa there are 23 suicides a day recorded and 230 serious attempts.
Call the South African Depression and Anxiety Group to talk on behalf of a loved one, colleague, or friend. Trained counsellors are there to help and refer you to local counsellors, facilities and Support Groups.
- 0800-21-22-23 (8am to 8pm)
- 0800-12-13-14 (8pm to 8am)
- SMS 31393
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