(Continued from last issue)
David and Diane have been married for years; then there is Julie, the young secretary whose axis collides with the couple’s in ways none of them saw coming.
DAVID
One of the pitfalls of moving out of the house that I had not foreseen was what a financial strain it would be.
Although it was not exactly a direct cost, as it stemmed from the cost of the accelerated work at the Katosi site, it was, nonetheless, a cost that I would not have had to deal with had I not moved out.
Besides that, ironically, even though we now lived together, Julie and my routines were so different that rather than make sharing the car easier, living together actually made it harder – and more expensive – to do.
With our different schedules, not only was I now spending more than double what I used to spend on fuel, I also had to pay the driver a full-time salary. Thankfully, Julie completed her driving lessons and passed the test, which meant I could now get her a car, which would not only save me fuel and driver costs, but would also be so much more convenient and make us that much more efficient.
But that obviously meant incurring another significant cost in buying the car, not to mention all the other additional costs that went with running a car.
What really got to me was that I had always been a financially savvy person; it was a trait that had gotten me the success I had achieved in life; so, to now find myself in financial disarray was alien, embarrassing and stressful.
To my discredit, I admittedly took out that stress on those around me; when Daniel asked me for money for a school trip, I scoffed at him for only coming to talk to me when he wanted something from me, and I refused to give him the money.
“Go ask your mother; after all, isn’t she the only one you talk to? The good one, huh? You go ask her!” I had snapped at him.
Only in hindsight did I realize that I had missed the opportunity to use the situation to grow closer to my son by giving him the money, rather than push him further away by sending him to his mother.
More frustratingly, I knew that if I had not been so stressed by all my rising financial demands, I probably would have given him the money, but the guilt and self-remonstration only added to my stress.
JULIE
I had hoped things would get better between David and I as we adjusted to our new routines, but it was now over two weeks since he had moved in, and there was still an absence of the warmth and intimacy that we had previously shared.
When we talked, it was either about work at the site, or something mundane like what he wanted for dinner; never anything personal. Sometimes I wished we had had an argument or a fight, as there would at least be an explanation for the distance between us then, but we had not, and with no cause for it, I did not know how to fix it.
More worrying was that not only weren’t things getting better, but there were also times when they seemed to be getting worse, like when I passed my driving test.
I had been so proud of myself for having made it despite all the other things I had had to deal with, that I had prepared an extra special dinner that evening to celebrate, but when David returned and I made my grand announcement, all he had said was; “that’s nice,” before heading on to the bedroom to freshen up and change like he always did.
Until then, I had managed to keep my pain at the state of our relationship under wraps, afraid that it might stress David and push him further away, but I was so hurt then, that I could not hide it, and when David returned from the bathroom, he immediately noticed it.
“What’s wrong?” he asked with concern. “That’s what I want to ask you; did I do something wrong? Have I offended you in some way?” I asked, my voice breaking in desperation.
“What are you talking about? No, you haven’t done anything wrong; what gave you that idea?” he asked in what sounded like genuine confusion.
“You’re so cold and distant! We don’t talk anymore, and I can’t remember the last time you even tried to make love to me!”
“Are you serious? We do talk, and as for making love, we both have busy days; so, it’s understandable that by the end of them, we’ll be tired and just want some sleep. What did you think? That when a couple move in together, they spend every night making love?” he scoffed.
Him mocking my pain only hurt more.
“I’m not talking about every night; once in a while would suffice,” I answered sadly, and forgetting about the dinner I had worked so hard on, walked away from him, and went and locked myself in our bathroom, before breaking down in tears.
DIANE
While the pain at the end of my marriage had initially been so raw that I could not bear to even look at David, after a while, I became accustomed to the pain and started to wonder about him.
He still came to see the children every day; did he ever wish he had not left? Was it really possible that after so many years of marriage, he could walk away and not look back, like none of it had mattered?
And above all, was he happy now that he had left? Part of me was scared of what the answers might be; I did not think I would be able to handle it if he was happy and living his best life, while I had been wallowing in pain.
However, eventually my curiosity won over my apprehension at what I might find, and the next time he came to the house, rather than hide away in the bedroom like I normally did, I came downstairs under the pretext of wanting something from the kitchen.
I did not intend to speak to him for there was still nothing to say; I just wanted to see him. Even a glimpse would tell me everything I wanted to know.
He was helping the girls with their homework at the dining table when I came downstairs, and as I got to the dining room entrance, I paused, and for a second, our eyes met, and he stopped mid-way through maths explanation to Samantha.
He looked like he was about to say something, when I moved on to the kitchen; he did not need to say anything, I had the answers I was looking for.
David was not happy; he had lost weight and his eyes looked sad and tired, and maybe it was mean, and maybe it was petty, but I felt a smug sense of satisfaction at that.
The grass obviously was not always greener on the other side, I thought to myself snidely, as I opened and shut the fridge without taking anything out of it, and then after a few moments, headed back upstairs. This time I did not pause by, or glance into the dining room.
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