Back in the early 2000s, a Catalan rider in the World Superbike series, Rubèn Xaus, got the nickname “Spider-Man” because his 1.8m body gave him an ungainly stance on his BMW S1000RR motorcycle.
I am 10cm taller than Xaus and having ridden the 2025 model of the same bike for the past fortnight, have discovered that modern performance bikes are not designed for big men.
My neighbour laughed as he watched me returning home the other day, saying I looked incredibly uncomfortable… like a grasshopper with knees behind my ears and bum hanging over the rear of the bike, he said.
With a seat height of a mere 824mm and the front footrests (as received for testing though they are adjustable to a degree) set 400mm above the ground, it was actually quite difficult getting my feet onto the pegs.
Compare this to the 480mm play between pegs and the seat on my everyday BMW R1200GS adventure bike which, combined with a more upright riding stance, makes things a lot less awkward for my lumpy 65-year-old body.
Put side by side, the S1000RR looks like nothing so much as a lethal Dinky Toy.
Weighing just 209kg and putting out 154kW at 13 750rpm, it is capable of going from 0-100km/h in 3.21 seconds and from standstill to 300km/h in just over 19 seconds.
Top speed in full race spec is 360-something km/h. Not, of course, that I did anything resembling those speeds.
However, the throttle is so sensitive that just the slightest turn of the right wrist catapults you into the realm of go straight to jail.
Clutch sensitivity is adjustable by dial to ensure you don’t keep stalling while riding in the city.
Negotiating traffic was for me a bit of a bugger because the difficulty in raising and lowering my feet kept me waddling like a demented goose behind cars rather than nipping nimbly between them.
Power delivery is so fast that the quickshifter on the transmission – whereby you can gear up without engaging the clutch – is much more than a nice-to-have accessory in an urban environment.
The Beemer comes with three dial-in riding modes; Road, Dynamic and Race. These adjust engine power, throttle response, traction control and ABS for different conditions.
I stuck with “Road” because it provided a balanced power delivery and responsiveness suitable for commuting and highway riding.
BMW suggests you switch to “Dynamic” for “spirited riding on smooth, dry, twisty roads” but I found that my preferred setting dealt with the bends and sweeps of a swift-ish 140km run from Stellenbosch to Riebeek-Kasteel and back perfectly adequately.
It is for the sheer thrill of the ride that you are shelling out R385 850 for the 2025 BMW S1000RR and little else.
The bike is useless as a city runabout and, with a 17l tank limiting range to not much more than 200km (manufacturer-claimed fuel consumption is 6.4l/100km), it’s equally worthless as a cruiser.
In any case, if you are even moderately tall, the wind resistance generated by the hunched over riding position quickly takes its toll on your hands, arms, shoulders and neck.
There’s also no room for a passenger.
However, if you feel the need for illicit speed and can afford it (the bike as well as the consequences) – alternatively if you regularly head down to your local racetrack for open days or race motorcycles seriously – riding the BMW S1000RR will leave you with a grin that’s almost impossible to erase.
Having very short legs will help immeasurably.
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