Sir, the things that make you sexually desirable to your wife will surprise you.
For many women, they are not your physical attributes, but the positive triggers. While men are visual beings, women are emotional beings, and this is how they activate their sexuality and libido.
Unfortunately, few men have decoded this. Look, the reason women naturally spend a lot of time on grooming and preening (to feel good about ourselves, we will quickly assert), subconsciously it is in response to the opposite sex’s visual approach to sex and desire.
It is why that Algerian man infamously sued his newlywed wife within days after the wedding, because what he ‘ordered for’ is not what he received when the makeup, fake eyelashes, etc, came off.
Google that story; it was a true story in those North African countries. And because women are emotional beings, men subconsciously find themselves responding to that, by giving, doing favours, protecting, etc.
This is software installed by God, that we don’t have much control over, save for these days when young men are unnaturally positioning themselves to be seen by older women, and be provided for by the same cougars.
Because they are unnatural, such relationships also never amount to much. But back to the things that will surprisingly get you some ‘sugar’, where all cajoling, begging and haggling have failed.
Science has confirmed, the vagina actually has a pulse, and this pulse can be set off by mundane, non-sexual occurrences that may certainly lead to sexual activity, when need arises.
It is Maya Angelou that wrote, people may forget what you did, what you said…but they never forget how you made them feel. She spoke like a true woman!
Now this is school fees week. The husband who stepped up and paid his children’s school fees, may not even know it, but he set off his wife’s vaginal pulse because her subconscious feels grateful, loved, safe, relieved and a host of other emotions that her brain finds easy to process into sexual feeling.
Innocent, spontaneous acts such as treating her beloved grandmother or even parents with respect or generosity, can set off that pulse, and the communication is made to the brain, where the sex thought process starts.
When they say for women, sex starts in the brain, this is what they mean. You possibly have met women who look at buff guys who spend most of their time in the gym and still say, “That doesn’t impress me much!”
If the biceps and six-pack are just that and no substance beyond, you will still get not much of a sexual reaction. One Ugandan wife’s vaginal pulse is set off by her husband stepping out with her; appearing hand-in-hand at church, social functions, or dates – she just loves hanging out with her man!
The fireworks and accompanying pink elephants after that are a guarantee, but he mostly does not get it, unfortunately.
If the sex in your marriage is suffering and it is because madam seems uninterested these days, spend less time wooing her like a bird (by colourful feathers and theatrical physical displays), and concentrate on getting her pulse beating in the right places.
Why do you think the average teenage girl, even when still mostly confused about her sexuality, finds pop stars, DJs and the like, very attractive and she could lay her life down for them? It has nothing to do with those stars’ looks, rather how they make her feel.
The brain does the rest. Assertiveness, take-charge attitudes and apparent fearlessness and being protective and generous in a husband makes him incredibly desirable, compared to his counterpart who is none of the above – does not even take care of his home – but is great at demanding for conjugal rights. No pulse. At all.
caronakazibwe@gmail.com
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