When you don’t feel good about yourself, it is kind of an uphill task to feel good about anything else, or make anyone else feel good, for that matter.
It is not a lie; misery loves company. So, love on yourself first, this Christmas.
“I once was out of a job for several years, and my husband is the kind that will take care of the home and his children, but never do anything personal for his wife – I sadly learnt,” one wife recently shared, triggering the idea for today’s column.
“It became so bad, at one point I had no decent underwear at all, and asking him to help me fell on deaf ears, yet when I still had my job, I would restock our underwear drawers simultaneously without him asking.”
She became a bitter wreck of a wife and naturally, felt no urge or desire to make love with her husband.
“I have never felt worse about myself than that time. After three years, I thankfully landed a good job and I don’t play about putting myself first now!”
It was also the saving grace for her marriage, because the more she felt better about herself, the more she felt herself lifting from the dark hole she had sunk into, and the more she wanted to flaunt all of her newfound self to her husband sexually.
So, has this Christmas found you feeling low and ready to quit? Gift yourself – man or woman.
GET YOURSELF A SPA TREAT
Personally, few things jumpstart me as fast as a spa visit. Get a massage, do your nails – yes, these days men actually patronize nail parlours as often as women… Take out that ages-old hairdo and come home looking like a million bucks again.
There is something about looking good that puts a spring in one’s step and a loud ding in their sex life. Try it.
SEXY UNDERWEAR
Another ‘can’t go wrong’ investment in self. Subconsciously, you will want to show your spouse. It is almost like that inner child, who used to lift her dress coyly to show her friends the new panty mummy had bought her, suddenly pops out again. In a sexy version.
So, when you are losing interest in making love and all intimacy in general, go rogue and invest in your intimates and feel good about yourself. When you are in tattered underwear and your spouse tries to spring a quickie on you, you will naturally not be over enthusiastic.
But on that day when all your most intimate ‘T’s are crossed and ‘I’s are dotted, you will be eager to even initiate things.
DARE YOURSELF WITH POSITIONS
That sex position or act you are both fascinated about but fear to try – yet it breaks no heavenly laws of laws of the land?
This Christmas…! Discuss it at length, if you need to, but this is your chance to break the monotony threatening your marriage. Some couples have never experimented with even the simplest things such as role playing, or using the sex toys… well, let that and more be the gift you give yourselves this Christmas.
It may be the great catalyst your marriage needed to reboot successfully, or the one that goes so badly that it gives you a hearty laugh through all the coming anniversaries.
The gift list is endless; this could be the year you finally catch up and start changing your bed and bathroom linens daily, so you stock up accordingly, or the one you start working out… Anyway, may your Christmas be pink! Wink-wink!
caronakazibwe@gmail.com
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