Every couple needs another couple they are really friends with and where the trust is nearly at one hundred per cent, for those times you need to get away and reconnect with your spouse, without tripping over children or even pets.
I know times are tough, and gone are the days of sijui slumber parties and sleepovers at strangers’ homes; more than ever we now have to be protective of our children (and pets!) after realizing we share this planet with a sizeable number of monsters in human skin.
However, as a married couple, you need to carefully cultivate relationships with other couples/parents, for those days when you absolutely need to get away for a few hours or days, without worrying about the safety and happiness of your children.
I have seen my fair share of marriages suffer after God brought children into the equation, because the couple forgot to carve out time for their own intimacy, and the marriage became about work, parenting, on repeat, until one of them got fed up of the monotony.
In the absence of close-by grandparents, vet your chosen collaborative couple carefully and consider this a gift you sometimes exchange with them. The couple could even be of a sibling; still, vet them and do due diligence first, because you may know your sibling well, and it is his or her partner that is the source of your worry.
Once you know whom you are dealing with, normalize sending your children over whenever you need to go on date night, or simply want the house to yourselves for once, to rediscover your younger, naughtier selves!
And when they need you to return the favour, it will be your turn to babysit as your friends also get to chase each other naked around their house.
Children are a precious gift from God, but because so many couples fail to understand how to handle them in the general dynamic of the marriage, one of two things happens; either the children are unknowingly exposed to sexual scenes and content by their clueless parents, or they are turned into the marriage’s major problem, because one or both parents failed to put boundaries in good time.
Some couples start off on the stepchildren foot; so, there are already children in the home from previous relationships, and how the biological parent treats those children in relation to the rest of the marriage can determine a lot.
I know a father who insisted his nine-year- old son from a previous relationship sleeps in the master bedroom even after the wedding! It took a ‘council of elders’ visiting, to shake some sense into him.
Get other people that you can do this parenting thing with, among other activities. If they have children of their own, even better. Let the children create memories to treasure when they are grown, as you, in turn, create time for intimacy and wild lovemaking without worrying about scandalizing those little ears and eyes.
caronakazibwe@gmail.com
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