A three-wife hajj in Nansana left his eldest wife in their marital home for more than a year without a single visit or financial support.
When he finally decided to return to check on her and the children, he found that wifey had ‘imported’ a live-in boyfriend to take care of her needs – ‘needs’ her husband had never fathomed existed.
It was on a local news bulletin, and I remember having a good laugh as the hajj lost it, breaking down doors and ripping the curtains out as the neighbours looked on in disbelief and hajjat gloated like a well-fed cat.
But now, hajj also…360-plus days of him disappearing to spend time and have sex with his other two wives, all the while expecting wife No. 1 to patiently wait in celibacy?
Those wives from our grandparents’ generation were built from sterner stuff. The ones of these later generations are something else, and you had better be ready to satisfy them all sexually before you marry them in batches. Polygamy is certainly not for the faint-hearted.
It is a mixture of challenges with each one in the mix demanding their own share of the husband. I imagine one man having to hop among different women and homes, and all of them expecting him to be perfect in all areas, especially in bed.
And to show affection satisfactorily all round. Look, one libidinous wife can present complex puzzles for her husband, how much more does a polygamous man have to put up with, considering the many sexual demands, sets of children, in-laws, and multiple third-party opinions?
It is akin to expecting a person that participated in a marathon on Sunday to be doing a 100-metre sprint on Monday and a cross-country run two days later. Nature dictates otherwise.
And the older the husband, the more complicated the recovery time. Chances are that even a star performer may fail to deliver to perfection in some of his beds, unless he married multiple wives to offset the low libidos of some, meaning, those ones don’t mind even if their husband stays away for months.
Otherwise, the husband risks what the hajj in Nansana suffered: coming home after his lengthy rounds to inconvenience a ‘dangerous substitute’!
Then accusations and counter- accusations might begin flying across the man’s different homes; before long, the joy is gone and with it many would-be great episodes of pink elephants. In such scenarios, the adventurous and daring spouses look outside the window.
If they spot good meat elsewhere, chances are that cheating will be a common occurrence. So, before you weigh yourself among the successfully polygamous men, be sure of your stamina, lest you set yourself up for heartache.
Today’s woman is nothing like the ones you knew from decades gone. Multiple wives are no longer a symbol of affluence similar to accumulation of property and wealth; these days, you had better bring the form, too, unless you are okay with your wives also creating extended sexual networks for your union – with the resultant risks.
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