Touch is probably one of the most intimate and sensual senses that we have. Combine this with an act of love, service, if you like, for your partner and a relaxing, intimate, sensual massage by candlelight may just be the right spice for a Valentine’s Day to upgrade from nice to spectacular.
The trick is that a sensual massage is not a rushed activity. Set the scene with soft and gentle lighting, make sure the bedding or sheeting, and towels are clean and smell fresh.
Your playlist should be chilled and relaxed.
Annemari Viviers of Heavenly Healing in Benoni said that all the elements combined must create an environment where both giver and receiver can drift away into their own worlds while also solidifying a sense of togetherness.
It’s all about the senses, she said, and choosing the right essential oils can be like setting the emotional script for the evening. Floral and sweet oils such as ylang ylang, jasmine and rose lead scent into romance. “They’re classic for a reason. They soften the mood and help people relax into the moment,” she said.
Classic essential oils ease the mood
For couples wanting something brighter and playful, she suggested citrus notes. Sweet orange gives a cheerful lift, while bergamot dollops in a gentle citrus-floral balance.
Earthier oils like patchouli and sandalwood, she shared, create a grounded, calm atmosphere, while clary sage adds warmth. Spicy oils such as cinnamon leaf and ginger could be used for heat and stimulation, but she cautioned that only in very low dilutions.
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Safety must come before pleasure, said Viviers. “Essential oils should never go onto skin undiluted. A standard massage blend sat at about 1-3% dilution, roughly 6-18 drops of essential oil in 30 ml of carrier oil.
For sensitive skin, start at 1% or less,” she said. Her preferred carriers include sweet almond, jojoba, grapeseed and fractionated coconut oil, which she said has little scent and a velvety feel that lets the essential oil blend take centre stage.
Blending can take many shapes, but, said Viviers, she loves a warm floral mix of ylang ylang with rose or jasmine. A light, happy pairing can be constructed from sweet orange and bergamot. Then, for a more earthy combination, match sandalwood with patchouli.
She also added that she liked to add five drops of frankincense to, as she said, “set the intention” of the massage.
Frankincense sets the intention
Before the massage even gets going, Vivaiers said, she often uses essential oils in a burner or a rose fragrance spray to set the mood.
“It adds to the aesthetic and supports the intention of the moment later,” she said. When moving to touch, or the actual massage, Viviers said that it’s not really the technique that matters. “Slow hands, paying attention to your partner’s body, being present.
“That’s what’s important. A sensual massage between couples is all about the willingness to focus on someone else. That is where sensuality really lives.”
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