Hand, rose and woman at graveyard for funeral ceremony, grief and memorial service outdoor with family. Flower, death and person by coffin at cemetery for mourning, peace and respect with back view
When a man dies, the grief experienced by his wife and children should be met with compassion, protection and support.
It should be a time for mourning, remembrance and healing. Yet, in many households, a widow faces a second, cruel betrayal – her in-laws demanding possessions such as the house, land or savings that she and her husband built together.
What should be a sacred period of grief often becomes a brutal struggle for survival.
Let us be clear, this is not tradition. It is theft disguised as culture. It is patriarchy masked as custom.
Families that seize a widow’s assets after her husband’s death are not preserving heritage; they are robbing women and children of dignity, stability and hope.
Across most communities, the narrative is disturbingly familiar. A woman who shared years of labour, sacrifice and love suddenly becomes a “guest” in her own home after her husband’s death.
The property she helped pay for, maintain and nurture is abruptly rebranded as “family property”, as if her contribution evaporated with her husband’s last breath.
We already have laws that protect property and inheritance rights, which are progressive and clear on paper. In reality, without effective enforcement, they are nothing more than ink on paper.
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Most widows are unaware of their rights, others know them but cannot afford legal representation or endure the long, complex process required to assert those rights.
As court cases drag on for years, children drop out of school, homes are lost and entire futures are quietly destroyed.
This injustice is even more galling in today’s society, where women are increasingly active in the workforce and are primary earners in some households.
Women contribute financially, emotionally and physically to building homes and sustaining families. Yet, when death occurs, these contributions are conveniently erased.
Some even hear the painful refrain from sisters-in-law or other relatives, “This is our brother’s house”, as though marriage, partnership and shared struggle are worthless.
The hypocrisy is staggering. When a woman dies, it is widely accepted that her husband may remarry, often bringing a new wife into the very home the deceased built and once occupied.
Rarely do in-laws question this arrangement or claim the property on behalf of the deceased woman’s relatives.
But when the man dies, the widow is treated as expendable. Families that preach unity in life turn predatory in death.
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How can we speak of Ubuntu, which foregrounds shared humanity and compassion, while mothers and children are evicted by the very people who should protect them?
How can we claim moral authority while exploiting grief for material gain? This practice must end by receiving the urgency it deserves.
Governments must enforce inheritance laws swiftly, decisively and unapologetically. Legal protection delayed is justice denied, so the government should intensify the protection of these victims by ensuring access to affordable or free legal representation.
Traditional leaders and civil society organisations must condemn this injustice. Importantly, families must desist from using custom as a shield for cruelty.
Honouring culture should never be at the expense of women’s lives and children’s futures. True respect for tradition lies in upholding the values of care, fairness and humanity.
Widows and children deserve the space to grieve in peace and without fear of dispossession. They deserve security, dignity and the chance to heal.
Anything to the contrary is not culture, but cruelty.
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