Edward thought the night had gone well. Well enough, at least, to deserve a reply. They had met through his mother’s law firm, where Lina (not real name) worked as a receptionist.
Edward, fresh out of internship, unsure of himself, but sure that he liked her, had spent a week trying to get her attention, asking questions, lingering longer than necessary at the front desk.
Eventually, he asked her out. Their first date was at Acacia Mall. A movie, Avatar 3, followed by what Edward describes as “easy conversation and good energy”. The film ended at around 10pm, and Edward offered to hail an Uber or Safe Boda for Lina.
She declined, suggesting they walk for a bit, instead. As they headed towards Wandegeya, Lina asked him to talk about himself. Nervous, Edward talked. And talked. And talked. He was still mid-story when they reached the Makerere junction and walked into hooting boda bodas, people shouting, movement in all directions. Edward panicked.
He grabbed Lina’s hand and pulled her away from the commotion. To Edward, the gesture felt protective, intimate even. A hero moment. He put her on a boda, insisting on escorting her home to make sure she was safe.
They rode together and he walked her to the door. Lina invited him inside and asked if he wanted something to eat. Edward said yes. She made eggs and went to shower. “I thought I was about to get lucky,” he admitted, so he stayed put, adding quickly that he would have been okay even if nothing happened.
He was surprised when Lina returned, dressed and composed, and asked him what time he was leaving. He took the hint and left. After that, his messages went unanswered. Then undelivered. Eventually, he realised he had been blocked. Edward was confused.
During the movie, Lina had allowed him to rest his hand on her thigh. She had invited him into her home. She had cooked for him. Weren’t those signs? “I really thought we had a good, intimate time,” he said. He wanted to know what happened. So, I asked Lina.
THE OTHER SIDE
With Edward’s consent, I contacted Lina. She remembered the date immediately.
“That was the only time I ever went out with my boss’ relative,” she said, laughing softly. “I remember it very clearly.”
Lina describes Edward as polite, eager, but a little awkward. Not unpleasant, just young in ways that became difficult to ignore.
“He seemed sweet,” she said. “But honestly, he was childish. He’s 28, and he chose a movie like we were teenagers on a school outing.” The movie itself did not bother Lina; she’s a big cinema fan.
What bothered her were the details around it. “I left home late and did not carry extra money,” she explained. “I had only that emergency change you carry.” Edward had not bought popcorn or drinks. Lina assumed he would.
When he did not, she was left with an uncomfortable choice: buy her own snacks and seem selfish, or say nothing and sit through the movie hungry. She chose the latter. “I didn’t want to be that girl,” she said.
“He asked me out. I didn’t want to embarrass him.” So, she watched Avatar 3 without popcorn or a drink. Halfway through the movie, Edward placed his hand on her thigh. “That’s when I checked out mentally,” Lina said. “We were not there, yet. At all.” She did not confront him.
She froze instead, hoping the moment would pass without escalation. After the movie, Edward suggested they share a boda; that it would drop him off along the way as she continued to her home.
“I did not want that,” Lina said. “I said I wanted to walk because I was trying to think of a polite escape.” Her plan was to walk for a bit, then jump on a boda and disappear. Then the chaos at Makerere junction happened.
“I almost laughed,” she said. “It was just a normal campaign thing. Nothing serious.” Edward, however, was visibly shaken. He grabbed her hand and pulled her away with urgency that felt disproportionate to the situation.
“He was shaking,” she said. “And honestly, he looked more scared than I was.” They boarded a boda together, Lina sandwiched between the rider and Edward – facepalm emoji – and rode to her apartment. By the time they arrived, Lina was hungry, tired, and emotionally done.
“I didn’t even know what to say to him anymore,” she said. “So, I asked if he wanted to eat, because I was also hungry.” She made him eggs and went to shower. She expected him to take that opportunity to leave. When she returned, Edward was still seated, relaxed.
“I realised then that he didn’t understand social cues,” Lina said. She went to the kitchen sink to gather her thoughts and find a polite way to ask him to go. That’s when she smelled the urine. “At first, I thought maybe the pipes were blocked,” she said.
“Then it hit me.” Edward had urinated in her sink! “I didn’t even ask. I didn’t want the explanation. Because it was obviously him.” She returned to the living room, her mind made up.
“I asked when he was leaving.” Edward left and soon after, she blocked his number. “I felt uncomfortable, disrespected, and exhausted.” Edward is wondering why she ghosted him. Lina is wondering why he is even wondering. Moral of the story: Don’t pee in her sinks!
ashleymwesigye@gmail.com
This is a new column, based on real life stories and not fiction, which will hopefully help the genders understand each other better – Editor.
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