There comes a point where silence is no longer dignity; it becomes distortion.
I have remained quiet for far too long while my name has been dragged, misrepresented, and used as a tool for relevance in narratives I walked away from long ago. That silence ends now.
Let me be unequivocally clear: I ended my relationship on 1 January 2024 with Letoya Makhene after disappearing and leaving with friends for weeks to months, and she always found me and followed me at my hiding and safe places.
This was not a mutual decision. It was mine. It was intentional, firm and final.
In February 2024, I went a step further and formally communicated this to her family in writing, making it clear that I no longer wanted any association or continuation of that relationship. That letter was only acknowledged in May – months later – but by then, I had already moved on with my life.
At the time, I was working in Ladysmith, fully focused on my professional responsibilities within the mayor’s office. I was building, working, and reclaiming my life, not entertaining drama, not chasing relevance and certainly not looking back.
What has been conveniently ignored is that after I ended the relationship, there were repeated attempts to get back with me. There was begging. There were efforts to reconcile. I refused. Not once, but consistently. I knew exactly what I did not want, and I stood by that decision.
In August 2024, I was contacted by a journalist seeking comment. I deliberately chose not to respond because I refused to turn my personal life into a public circus. However, when I eventually spoke to another journalist, it was for one reason only: to tell my truth before it was completely buried under manufactured narratives.
‘I refuse to be used’
Today, I am happy. I have moved on. My life has progressed beyond that chapter in every sense.
Yet somehow, I continue to be dragged back into a story I exited over a year ago.
With the launch of a reality television show and ongoing public developments, including the arrival of a fifth child, my name continues to be used in promotions, conversations and content that have absolutely nothing to do with my current life.
Let me make this very clear: I am not part of that storyline, and I refuse to be used as one.
I do not want my name in promos. I do not want to be referenced for engagement. I do not want to be used as a talking point to drive views, sympathy or controversy.
Leave me out of it.
What makes this even more frustrating is the distortion that happens on social media. When videos are posted about me or narratives are pushed involving me, I respond. I defend myself. I correct lies. And suddenly, I am labelled “obsessed”, “crazy” or “unstable”.
Let’s be honest, that is not only lazy, but it is also dishonest.
Responding to provocation is not an obsession. Defending your name is not instability. Refusing to be silenced is not madness.
It is self-respect.
What people fail to understand is that I am reacting to what is being done to me publicly. I am not chasing anyone. I am not clinging to the past. I am addressing it when it is forced into my present.
There is a difference, a very clear one.
Social media thrives on half-truths and spectacle. It rewards noise over truth and reaction over context. But I refuse to allow a digital narrative to define who I am or reduce my reality into something it is not.
I have done the work to move on. I have respected the end of the relationship. I have not interfered in anyone’s life. What I expect and demand is the same respect in return.
Closure is not a performance. Moving on is not an invitation to be dragged back. And my name is not a marketing tool.
This is not bitterness. This is not anger for the sake of it. This is clarity.
I am drawing a line publicly and unapologetically.
I want no association. No references. No indirect mentions. No narratives that attempt to tie me to a past I have already closed.
Respect that.
I wish her well, but that has nothing to do with me anymore. Her life is her responsibility. Her story is hers to tell without using my name as a headline.
I am no longer part of that story.
And going forward, I will not hesitate to defend myself against any attempt to pull me back into it, publicly or otherwise.
I have moved on.
Now it’s time everyone else does the same and leave me alone!!!
Opinion piece by Lebo Keswa.
